Disclosure: I received compensation in exchange for this post. All opinions are my own.
My daughter is now twelve years old, so that means we are fully immersed in the tween stage and everything that entails. I must admit, the teen years are a stage that I have not particularly been looking forward to experiencing with either of my kids. The changes, problems, stress, and negative influences all seem to carry more weight during these years. However, I know that this is also an exciting time when our children are discovering who they are and figuring out what they want to become. A healthy parent-child relationship is critical during these years.
The Center for Parent and Teen Communication (“CPTC”), which is based out of the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, is a valuable resource for parents of teenagers looking for guidance on improving and strengthening their relationship with their teenager. The CPTC website contains a multitude of articles that address a wide range of parenting topics. The website also has a series called “Parenting in 100 Words” that offers “snack-size” pieces of advice for parents of teenagers. Here are some of the advice snacks that I put on my personal “parenting playlist”:
You have probably heard about “Tiger Moms” and “Helicopter Parents”. However, according to the CPTC, the best parenting style is being a “Lighthouse Parent”.
Lighthouse parents do their job by balancing care with protection. They’re like lighthouses: guiding their children so they don’t hit the rocks and sink, steadfast, keeping watch. They provide warmth and rules.
I really like the analogy of being a lighthouse for my kids. While we cannot prevent the storms of life from hitting our kids, I want to be able to guide my children through them. I want them to know that my husband and I are a “safe place” and that we are always looking out for their well-being.
“Keeping Your Cool” is pretty self-explanatory, but it is a good reminder nonetheless. Just this past week, my daughter injured her little toe. I ended up taking her to urgent care for x-rays to see if it was broken. It had been a busy day for me, and spending the evening at urgent care was the last thing I wanted to do. During the drive there, I found myself being upset and blaming her even though I knew it was not her fault. I eventually was able to calm down and “keep my cool”. As a result, we ended up having two hours of quality mother-daughter time that would have been otherwise wasted.
As parents, we need to remember that we should “cherish every stage” of our children’s life. I remember looking forward to and celebrating every milestone during the baby and toddler stages. As parents, we need to continue to do this and not let the teenage milestones go by unnoticed. I would like to start a scrapbook where my daughter and I can both record some of these milestones.
According to this piece of advice, parents should be more concerned about what our kids are learning vs. focusing solely on academic grades. The CPTC suggests asking teens what they learned at school instead of only caring about test scores and grades. When I tried this, I found that my daughter was more open in talking about her school day.
5. Playtime, Downtime, Family Time (“PDF”)
This piece of advice caught my attention because of the catchy acronym. It is vital for kids to have quality playtime, downtime, and family time in order to be successful in school (and reduce stress levels). I have recently tried making more of a concerted effort to create family time by enjoying a nice meal together or playing a quick board game. Even though our schedules are busy, “PDF” gives us a chance to reconnect.
Be sure to check out the CPTC website for more valuable parenting advice and create your own #ParentingPlaylist that you can implement with your teen!